The pain is so intense, almost at my limit of what I can bare.?

[Sun H]

I'm not over my ex..we slipt 6 months ago. Unfortunately I can see his blog, all his pics..and I check it...last time today. I am obsessed by him, or by the STORY of us...something that I have never had before. I have tried with countless men to get even a bit of that joy. It breaks my heart to even write this.

I broke up with him as I wasn't ready for much then and he was too intense. I might have Aspergers, which makes me VERY difficult in maintaing a relationship. There were and are times I can't FEEL anything anymore for him. Like a robot. Other times I just sit and cry like crazy and I don't understand ANYTHING, my being PARALLEL to life.

He doesn't know WHY I am like this. He will be gone in 2 months, leaving the country. I am in such pain..more than I can bare. I don't understand.

Any idea? What can I do?
split ..not slipt (sorry)