Been considering erotic poetry, so far I've got this, incomplete obviously, any...

[Alobar]

...suggestions or critiques? My fingers graze their trail
Down back
Over buttocks, continuing
Thigh
Back of knee
Circle ankle
And return, a more sensitive route:

Ankle, gentle as a whisper
To knee
Circling, circling
To inner thigh

Tease

On way to flat stomach
Tracing muscle
Patient
Move to valleys ‘tween perfect peaks

Caress

More teasing
Then on to neck
Softly, delicately
Trace pathways of nerve impulses
On their way to brain’s pleasure center—
Apply kiss.

[Good4U]

I followed you but I didn't quite get anything from it, it almost felt like I was reading a cook book on how to rather then an exsotic poem. I didn't feel a twing, pation, or pleasure from it. Sorry, my fingers graze their trail, and twin perfect peeks are good but there is something missing in the rest, can't quite put my finger on it except maybe you are being to hesitant or to shy? GL!

[Marguerite]

Ah, I've got a suggestion... the poem reads fast. Teasing is a slow and erotic action. I would slow the reader down, so that they could savor each word and movement. Do you understand what I mean?

[neonman]

How about placing a couplet between each action to give pause and better focus? It would be like two poems going on at once. Damn it gave me an idea....

[elyslund]

Your poem is slow...and words placed as you have them, very much on purpose. You have the recipe for arousal, and, done properly, is never EVER fast.
You allow the reader to savor each line, word, before they are allowed to move on to the next part....excellent!!!!
Exceedingly well constructed for the purpose you had in mind!!!!
Don't change a thing!!!!!

[Sptfyr]

Marguerite is right. It's a nice poem, but it reads way too fast. A poem like this needs to be slow and deliberate. Once you get there it will be very sensual and erotic.