Would someone please comment on my poetry (asked by Alex)?

[naruto + sasuke]

This poem doesn't have a name yet

I have lost the battle
I have lost the war
I have felt the pain
I have felt remorse

I have lost my heartbeat
I have lost my soul
Now there is nothing
But a void

I wanted to stand
I wanted to win
But that knife in my heart
Kept stabbing again

I couldn't do it
I couldn't let go
My journey is over
I can't hate you anymore

Along with your knife
Along with my pain
You took the last of my heart
And now I'll take the last of me




And there is my poem for Literature, tell me what you think, please.

Riley: So advanced Literature is just some class to write emo poems, right?

For the last time no!!! I was assigned to write a sad poem!!!
Thank you for the replies!
By the way, I used void over hole because I don't particuallary like rhyming poetry

[See how they run]

It's sad and if you are looking for a sad poem you have definitely got one. It's a good one for a beginner. I hope you keep on writing.

[Ada]

makes me feel vaguely patriotic without being sure why. Maybe it should be read out over drum rolls and the les mis soundtrack?

I like it - very tragic and dramatic.