I'm trying poetry..... plz constictuve critisizm!?

[Bri]

Hating my own blood


Oh how I hate my own blood
For all I do just seems to provoke
The spite held deep down inside

He tower's above on a power trip
While I cower below, afraid of his fist
For I am afraid

Not of him, but the power he holds
Not of words, but hits he controls
Sticks and stones hurt more then words....

When it's your own blood that causes countless tears.

Rate it decipher it.... watever you want! Oh and in case you are wondering I just turned 15 a few days ago....

[marissaatwood85]

I love writing poetry and received a letter from a publish, but I think that is one of the most touching a realistic poems I've ever read. Keep up the good work. Hope to read more of your poems some day. I'm also a teenager, 13 years old.

[KevinH]

K. Honest opionion- 17 year old guy here.

1. I like it. really i do but i don't like the blood involvement and i'll tell you why.

It doesn't fit with ANY of the rest of the poem...how does your own blood make you cry? What? what does your blood line hold something you dislike? i don't understand, get the blood out of there and this would be much better. =)

[Stu]

i feel you