More poetry... would you comment?

[Siren Death River]

Mindset gone amiss
I can’t remember why I came her.
All is fear and fantasy
so why bother with dreaming?
Dread of bliss and loves’ fulfillment,
yet we say we wish it so.
I contemplate the hours till
the death toll lingers in.
It stands upon the brink
and I wait for it to fall,
come one and all for the feast
of pity and our misery.
Yet they all stand back
by themselves
not wishing to regain their strength
and what am I to do?
But follow the crowd into the pit
of despair?
of loyal mourning to something
I do not miss?
And the sun rises,
unheeded and scoffed,
even by me.
The night sky holds
the only jewels I long for
so do not even try to buy
my heart with all your strings of stone.
Like your heart for me,
they are cold as ice.
And your hands
are colder still,
wrapped around my neck…

[Stu]

i like it real original

[Evadne Terra]

Yes, my heart is stone,
yes, my hands are cold,
but they are a shield
for a heart so raw
and bleeding still
from wounds a careless other
brought.

This was a beautiful glimpse into a beautiful heart. I think it was merely lazy fingers that had you saying "her" instead of "here" in the second line. The last four lines are incredibly chilling, as you think you are taking the road to suicide, and then you realize that it is murder. Skies save me, but I love the line "so do not even try to buy/my heart with all your strings of stone." It's impacting and paints such a beautiful picture.

[Sher]

wow, those last 4 lines are chilling

great job!

[Rouxe]

It flows, at first, abruptly from one thing to another but once you reach the end you see that it all goes together quite well. I like the last four lines, sent chills down my spine and I also like the part about the feast of pity. You are growing in leaps and bounds compared to the first few things you posted, my dear...

[Beauty]

it was deep. i like it

[Beauty]

it was deep. i like it