Suprise! Poetry!?

[advice out the wazoo!]

Part I: A wee little rant.

I realize that long questions tend to scare people off but I would -really- like to get some feedback on this poem. I attend a pretty prestigious arts school and I like to think of myself as a good poet, but I would really, really like to know what aspects of my poetry appeal to others and what parts need to be improved. I AM LOOKING FOR HONESTY. I know that this isn't a very strong piece, and I'm looking for constructive feedback.

Part II: A poem.

For the Inside of Your Pockets:

in the end,
your fingers and my lazy handwriting will meet,
here, in the negative imprint of your palms,
this space found between spare change
and paperclips and broken pencils,
this quiet place where all things softly converge.


Peace and love to you all. <3

[Joe D]

I think it IS a strong piece. Everything in the pocket means something--I don't know what you were trying to get across, but to me the space was a sort of limbo where greed, broken souls, dull, average life don't exist, but instead they all come together (softly converge.) I like it.