Poem any Good? How can I shorten it for a poetry contest?

[Spongebob]

Only 20 lines are allowed

I tried shortening it a little. Can you help?

I'm only 12 and I wrote it in less then an hour.
Does it have any potential? Any suggestions?

Different

Being different means you accept yourself for who you are
And appreciate everyone around you

One person isn’t afraid of what others whisper behind him
He doesn’t care how he dresses or where he shops
He’s not afraid to wave to the “weird” kids or actually study for a test
This person doesn’t want to be cool, he wants to succeed

His classmates are different
They want all of the brand name clothes
They would jump off a bridge if the “cool kids did it”
They would wear shorts in the winter if it was “in style”
And they would skip school to be cool for a while
They don’t care if their grades suffer
Or if it makes their life a little rougher
As long as their so called “friends” approve

I’m like his classmates and I should be ashamed
I do care what others say
I crack under pressure
And I gawk at anything over priced

But the difference is that I see my wrongs
And I know what I want to be

I plan to change,
But until then, I can only wish I was different

[CurlyQ]

Lose the 1st two lines - you say it in other ways throughout. Take off the last two lines and instead, make the last line: I know what I want to be - Different.

Why just want to be different? Be true to yourself and BE different! :-)

Keep up your interest in poetry. It will serve you well in many ways.

If you're going to playing on people's desire to be published and getting people to buy their own poems in print at $40 a pop. I wrote a very stupid, absolutely useless so-called poem just for the purpose of putting it on poetry.com to see what would happen - they informed me I was a semi-finalist!

[zclifton2]

Being Different

I see me, and, all of us as others.
I am afraid of the whispers, sometimes.
But I wave at my young friend anyway.
Another friend is always cool,
And she makes me smile.
If I succeed at anything
Is it enough that I alone know?
I love skipping school in my mind.
Until I do, and then I miss my friends.
I am reluctant to let my grades suffer,
Afraid, it will get a little rougher.
I gawk at all of them because they are
my others, my thoughts and memories.
I wonder where we all will be
When school years are over.
I am going to carry a note book;
I plan to ask for all their phone numbers.
That way we can find out,
How different we can all be,
Together.

[mcronthurs]

it has potential but im sorry it has no rhythm.

[Ron H]

It's pretty good.

I would change this first line because it is too sweeping. Just one word.

Being different <so> you accept yourself for who you are
And appreciate everyone around you

The reason is being different means you accept yourself for who you are, but it can mean other things too, like you have naturally blue hair or anything.

Keep writing.