17 year old kid who writes poetry, can a get a hell yeah?

John G · #1 (**permalink**) 02-24-2008, 05:36 PM

The Stain
The utter crying shame
The Glass
Time moves too fast

To hold
Strong misdeeds unknown
To Sip
The blood begins to drip

The Break
The hands begin to shake
The Stain
Of a revived name

Greg A · #2 (**permalink**) 02-24-2008, 05:36 PM

I don't "see" this poem. What are you talking about? Where are we? What is your point? You have to give some specifics in a poem to give the reader an idea of what you are getting at.

babsinakron · #3 (**permalink**) 02-24-2008, 05:37 PM

brilliant
hell yeah

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