help me with my poetry?

[mcr_lover]

your lips speak soft sweetness
your touch a cool caress
i am lost in your majic
my heart beats within your chest


i think of you each morning
and dream of you each night
i think of your arm being around me
and cannot express my delight


never have i fallen
but i am quickly on my way
you hold a heart in your hands
that has never been given away

[torit]

I like this poem, and I don't think you need any help with it!

This stanza is extraordinary -- old words used in new ways for a powerful image:

never have i fallen
but i am quickly on my way
you hold a heart in your hands
that has never been given away

[Jan]

Just a touch of work and you are holding a beautiful piece of art.....a lovely poem. It's great!

[A.La]

i love you

lol

that's sooo sweet

[Madrugada]

I like your poem. It just needs some syllables changed so it flows a little better. Here are a few suggestions.

Your lips ''do'' speak soft sweetness,
your touch a cool caress
I am lost in your ''true'' magic,
with strong heartbeats in your chest.

. . .
I think of your arms around me,
unable to express my delight.

. . .
my heart is in your hands,
which . . .