Opinion of this Shakespearean love sonnet?

[sillygoose08]

So, we had to write a love sonnet for English class the other day. It had to be your typical, 14 lines with an iambic pentameter ryhme scheme... so that's why some words are only half; made it fit the rhyme scheme. Just curious what people think...

The frigid ice of winter comes too slow,
As if the earth knows of my rev'rent dread;
My heart no longer can deflect the snow,
Since fires of old lost passion and are dead.
Where once was warmth of most tender array,
That glittered like a diamond 'neath the sun,
Now frost enfolds a body of decay;
My soul's eternal rest has now begun.
As frozen tears do cling onto my face
And lips of mine turn to the palest blue,
The memories I know I must erase
All spiral in a maelstrom made by you.
Now down I tumble to a wat'ry grave
Of blue, of blue, with no hope to be saved.