Need your opinion - My Marriage is has been deteoriating through the yrs and I want

[Chicago J]

to seperate from my wife? I been having problems communicating my true feelings to my wife, as she never listens and just flies off the handle. Last night I sat down and put together a letter. I made sure not to point fingers, but to seriously suggest that we seperate (not a divorce yet).

Here's my issue. We have a family vacation to Florida planned. Were suppose to leave Mar.19 and my kids are soo excited about it. I'm looking forward to it too, so as you can see the timing is off. Oh, and her parents are paying for the hotel. That was our Christmas present.

So, do I just give her the letter now or do I wait till we get back?

I guess waiting another month is no big deal, since we been living dsyfunctional for almost 2 yrs now.

[redpeach_mi]

if you have trouble telling her your real feelings because of her reactions, then i suggest that you try counseling. my hubby also had trouble telling me his feelings, but only because he was just that way. it's so much easier to talk when there is someone else there that is not going to take sides either way and can give you an honest opinion about your situation. suggest counseling to her first, before the letter. if she doesn't want to go, then give her the letter. you can still go on the vacation together so the sake of your children.

[Ann]

Wait until you get back. Take time over the vacation for the 2 of you as well. It has been deteriorating but try one last time anyway - this may be for a reason.
I have seen couples turn things around while they were away from home, the every day ritual and with one another. I am being dead honest. While on vacation they took a little time to have dinner together, walks on the beach and they let things go and talked about dreams and the future.
Buy your wife something special for the vacation and make some plans for the kids to do something for a afternoon or two - they will have fun and it will give you 2 some time.
Don't let the kids down right now, go on the vacation, give it a real good try and then take it from there.
Good luck, I hope it all works out.

[stumpedII]

you have so much to lose, You loved this woman enough to marry her.. she loved you enough to marry you.. you shared kids. that's a lot to throw away.. sometimes thru time you begin to take eachother for granted.. sometimes you let little things.. like a sock on the floor or a few dirty dishes upset you.. these little things build up over time.. creating resentment.. i think it's resentment that destroys a relationship.. i think the big one time things you can overcome.. but i think the little things that build up over time is what will destroy your relationship

i think you should see a marriage councilor.. I dont think you should throw away everything you have invested in all your life.. I think divorce is a horrible thing.. next to death the worst thing. in fact it's the death of your marriage.

if you have time.. try to find what you once had.. you change she changes.. but you have so much to rediscover and build on. i wouldnt throw that away for a blind chance in a world of high divorce statistics.. of aids.. etc..

good luck

in my experience, one in the hand is worth more than10,000 in the bush..

[Cassius]

For better or worse rings a bell ? Try to cure the desease dont kill the patient. She didnt went to court to "get her fair share" so albeit unhappy she must still believe in the marriage. It aint like your wife is Mary Winkler. Your children are lucky to have a mom that doesnt run off to her divorce lawyer and now u want a separation and later on prolly divorce that makes me sooo mad.