Parental Rights issues...... Opinions needed?

[rozebaby100]

My sister went to court to get full rights to her daughter (full custody) the Judge granted his family 2 hours on sundays for 2 weeks for supervised visits.....after that they can take my neice for three hours a week where ever they want... the only problem is they won't even get out the door and my neice will start crying and won't stop until she is with some one that she knows rather well.... to prove my point i have a very valid example.. i have a friend who loves my sister's daughters as well as my son very much but the oldest of the three (the Child in Question) is terrified of him every time she sees him she will scream run and hide... she does the same with her father... is it fair to her that they have the right after FOUR HOURS in two weeks?? I just want opinions on this I want to find out what other ppl have gone through and what their opinion is
She doesn't talk yet and once she has issues with some one they never go away unless you have her sister or her cousin i know she was mad at me for like 3 weeks until she realized that i had brought her a new friend and his family has made no effort to see her I have volunteered on numerous occasions to bring her to see them and am constantly denied... they even missed her first birthday saying that they were too busy with their other grand child to come and see her (younger than her). the father has made a half ass effort but he'll be there for 2 -5 days in a row then dissapear for a month. we have made efforts but we know this little girl if she ain't comfortable it'll be hell and a half for them and for my sis when she gets home

[hagen.robin]

Maybe your sister should try to talk to them to try to get them to wait a little longer before taking her alone. If that don't work then have your sister keep track of each visit and how it went and what they or she said at the end of each visit and take them back to court. It sounds to me like it's just a control issue with them right now and their not really intrested in having her, so if each visit goes bad they will eventually stop the visits. It sucks that the child has to go thru this and it is unfair for the other family to do this to her, but they may have also realized what they were missing and may want to become involved in her life and if that is the case, things will eventually get better. Just hope they care enough about her to realize what is in her best intrest and let her get to know them better in familiar settings forst.

[lizroswelluk]

Maybe you should go back to court and say that it isn't working out, the child doesn't want to see her father, and it is causing her emotional discomfort every time he comes to pick her up and you are worried about her.
I'm sure the judge will take it into consideration.

[mary f]

Ok, fair to whom? There are 2 sides. First the little girl, might just be that way initally when they get there, but migh tbe fine when she is by herself. So that might be a good thing to look into. Also is there a reason shes so scared of them? Now when it comes to the dad, it might not be fair to him, if he is trying to honestly spend time with her, and wants her to overcome this, in which she might need to be around him more. You have to look at the circumstances. If she is and has been around then, and she just dont want to go, then maybe more time with them is needed. My daughter, is the same way, she is 9, and ever since she was old enough to know who she wanted, she wouldnt go, unless I made her, and it was just because she had "mommy-itis". Even now, I have to make her go, BUT, once shes there, she calls asking to spend the night, ect. Just ask the little girl if there is any reason she doesnt want to go. and based on her answer take it from there. Good luck...

[Amber R]

To me it does not sound fair. But if your sister does not do what the judge ruled then she will be incotemped of court and could lose her daughter. So the only thing she can do for now is what the judge ordered. And try to get a new ruling in court. But I know what you are talking about my brother had the same problem with his daughter. And he hated it. So he went back to court and got a new ruling. I would hate to see my kids[2ages 4 and 2] have to go through it. Iwill keep your niece in my prayers.

[kitty]

For the 1st 2 weeks there will be supervised visits, I am assuming that this person supervising is not a family member to either.

This person will be able to observe the relationship and how it is effecting the child.

This person then can report this to the judge if he or she sees that it is really upsetting the child.

The very best thing you all can do for the child, is being civil to the other family.

Don't psych out the child and make her more fearful of going with them, be cheerful and reassure her that you will see her in a few hours and for her to have a great time...

Good luck