Can you tell me the funniest/wittiest quotations that you know of?

[Gardo E]

thanks
very nice answers, sorry i cannot seem to give any of you a thumbs up. I really like your quotes.

[Nuffie]

"Just remember that you're unique... just like everybody else." -Anonymous

[Dr. M]

"Death does not concern us, for as long as we are alive, Death is not here. And when we are dead, we no longer exist!" ~ Epicurus

"War is cruelty. You cannot refine it." General T. Sherman.

"Every day is a first or a last, depending on what you do with it." ~ me

"I'm a good father because I promise you lots of things. Doing them would make me an excellent father." ~ Homer Simpson