Seriously, I need help with my bff; he thinks he's a zombie?

[DashingGeekRedux8409]

I'm serious, he thinks he's a zombie. He walks around all stiff and stuff and has a glassy look in his eyes. And a Haitian priestess follows him and stuff. I'm really scared but I don't want to go to my parents. What should I do?PS Family and Relationships>Singles & DatingPleez, people, I am serious!

[anticone]

Sweet!!!

[SeanG2338]

GET HIM IN THE HEADITS TEH ONLY WAY

[Instruisto7781]

Try holy water.

[Angelaciabaybeeeeee0275]

step 1: invite him over to dinner.step 2: prepare his food with a sprinkling of pufferfish poison. VERY IMPORTANT that you don't mix up your dishes. however it is important to serve the same dish for both of you so he can't say he wants your food or some unexpected glitch like that.step 3: after he has fallen unconscious, carry him to the nearest graveyard. bury him alive. After a few hours, dig him up again. he will not remember anything.These are the steps you take to make someone into a zombie. If you do them on a zombie it turns them back into a person. Best wishes!

[FutilityKnife5872]

Find out what he has been smoking and indulge with him!

[DeadParrotSociety]

This works for me. I like my men stiff and glassy-eyed. And I take it he's not talking... perfect.

[MdmeMangokeepsitreal7184]

As long as it is a Haitian priest and not a catholic priest, you guys should be safe.

[5715]

If you kill the priest, all of his zombie slaves will be released.Or do they melt, like those wax people in Indiana Jones and the Lost Ark?Either or. It's a 50/50 shot.

[PapaMcCain0615]

Okay, first you have to distract the Priestess, offer her a MaiTai without the umbrella. As she stares at it confused, lay a line of Morton Salt around her. This will trap her Juju inside. Now get your bff out of the room, out of her sight and thus immediate control. At this point you are going to need the proper equipment: a rattle snake's rattle (a child's rattle or a BB in a bucket will also work), a large white chicken (female preferred, but a picture or the word "large white chicken" written on a piece of paper will do) and a full jar of mayonnaise.Step one: shake the rattleStep two: kiss the chicken's hind end (blow,smooch...gets the feathers out of the way)Step three: Start filling his pants, in front with the mayonnaise, one spatula at a time.If this doesn't bring him out of it, go back and tell the priestess you'll release her if she's naked. (might as well have some fun at least) Once she's naked, tell her it's just salt, she can step over it any time she wants.