My son's Kindergarten teacher wants to stay back. I don't. What should I do?

[miss_taken]

My son was born in June and he attended school for the first time in his life when he was four years old. He didn't learn much in Pre-K because the teachers didn't want to be hard on him, so they let him have fun while he got accustomed to school. He is now 5 years old in Kindergarten. He started school in August and by October, his teacher had a conference with me and told me everything he didn't know how to do. Her suggestion was for my son to be "retained" because he has a "late birthday" and he educational level is not up to the county & state standards. I had another conference with her in January, and this time she made more of a threat and said that my baby will not pass the "AKS" test and has a high chance of being retained. I still disagree with her. I want son to go forward to 1st grade. What would you do?

[CC1229]

This is a very personal decision for you. Have you listened to the teacher's concerns regarding your son's learning? Are they valid? Maybe some one on one coaching at home if he is behind the other kids in his year at school would help. I would suggest that letting him stay behind would be better than him going on to 1st grade only to fall further & further behind. It would be easier for him to repeat Kindergarten than, say 2nd grade or something when he's older and more aware of where he stands with the other kids academically.

[gradjasan4557]

Better for him to stay now and catch up then have to stay later (say in high school) and have to catch up.No college will care if he was held back in kindergarten, they may care if he is held back in sophomore, junior, or senior level. I suggest doing more to get your kid to pay attention in school right now. If he can pass the AKS then it won't be a big deal as long as he learns to work now. If he doesn't, better to hold him back now so that he can learn to buckle down when buckling down isn't that hard and doesn't affect anything; rather than later when it will be much harder and may have an affect on attaining scholarships or even just getting into college.

[JeffandLori]

It would be alot easier on him to stay back now than later. It won't bother him socially now but will be devastating later if he is held back. I was barely 5 when I started school and was always the youngest kid. I struggled all the way through school and barely graduated a year and a half late. Give him a good start.

[MiaH]

Keep him back as he will start again with new classmates and it will make no difference to him as he will be the right age. He must mature and this way he will help others and be seen as a leader by the little ones. This will give him confidence to excel himself and prove to the others he can do it. Dont argue with the teacher do the test yourself and see how clever he really is. Get the teacher to give you the information on what he should know and test him.

[RichelleChua]

that is very personal.you could retaine your child or may be you could work hard i mean that you should help your child to higher his/her grades I am believe you can do it!!!!Good Luck hope you can do it!

[mystery1882]

I would try another school and I think any sort of testing at Kindergarten age is insane. Kids are kids for God's sake, the teacher sounds puffed up with her own importance. Get another opinion.

[AnnM7282]

threatened? hmmmm perhaps your child's teacher is not presenting this in the proper way. I do trust the educational abilities of teachers and experience of them realizing who his peers will be. I have never heard a parent regret holding a child back, I have heard several regret pushing them on. This is NOT an insult to your child, this is a suggestion on his best behalf. It is better to retain him now than in later years when he is even more discouraged with school. Please listen to your child's teacher and try not to take it personal.

[Amber7742]

Think what is best for your son. If he really needs to be held back...better to do it in Kindergarten than in 4th or 5th grade. There will be other children in the class who are older because of their birthdays and he'll also feel more like the "leader". Do NOT think of this as some sort of failure on your part but do talk with the teacher to see what you can do to help at home.I'm not impressed that you got the feeling of being "threatened". Hmmm...if that is so, talk with the teacher and the principle. I find that because so much $$$ for the school depends on who passes the test and sometimes it is the teacher that is directly effected by them not passing a test...that a few teachers forget that the children are there to take a step forward from where they are...not to be all at the head of the class. Good luck!

[nubiangeek]

Is kindergarten required in your state? It isn't required in our state, so her threat would have no teeth. What you have to ask yourself is what is best for him. If he is behind, he will not magically catch up in first grade. So, what I say to parents is do you want him at the bottom of the class or the top. Do you want him always struggling or not. Also, do you plan to work with him over the summer so that he is at least closer to the other students when the fall comes.