Educated Mother Can't Stop Placing Others First?

[nicci4motherhood]

Hi everyone, I am emailing for advice on something that is really bothering me. My entire life I feel like I need to take care of everyone else, I have been a surrogate mother for someone, I have taught childbirth and attended births as a doula for very low fees, I take postpartum support calls in the middle of the night and take care of all of my children's fundraisers, household duties, and even my schoolwork all comes before I ever take care of ME... I have had 6 kids and my life is so busy and yet I still attend PTA, breastfeeding meetings, I teach childbirth in my home, do infant massage and I have an infant daycare in my home... why do I have to take on so much... do I have OCD??? We have very little money and are barely scraping by, otherwise I would consider seeing a counselor for this. I am almost thirty and need to figure out how to change my eating habits and exersize more but I have absolutely no time. How can I realize all of this but still not make changes???

[MadS5093]

I wouldn't call it OCD. It does sound like you are a people pleaser and need to feel needed. It is hard to make the changes cause you are in so deep. You have to have time to do those things which leaves nothing for you. You will have to cut something out. Make a list of the what you want to keep the most and try to cut something, even if it only gives you 10 mins here and there. You can also plan your day by a written schedule ( I did this before myself-I have 4 kids under the age of 6, do all the chores and work 3rd shift. I am gone 10 hour s,sleep 3.5hours in the morning and maybe get 1.5 hours at evening (not by choice, but by financial neccessity) After getting really ill for 6months strait, I decided that the lifestyle had to go and I cut down a lot of things. I now do the minimum housework necessary etc. Good luck to you. I know it is hard.

[veryimportantpigclub]

B/c obviously you are getting something emotionally and psychologically from this. Also, you obviously don't value yourself and place others before you. You need to get counseling b/c otherwise you are teaching your children to follow in your footsteps.