My husband is teaching our boys to fight?

[Janet]

My husband Rick and I have 12 year old twin boys (Bob and Ben).Rick is there stepdad,the biological father is a deadbeat. They are great kids and do well in school.There only problem is that they both stutter.They've been going to speech therapy for years and it has helped,but the stutter really hinders them socially.The other kids make fun of them and bully them.Last year Rick decided to make the boys have more confidence.Every night after school they have an excercise routine they go through and then he and his best friend I guess try to teach them to box and basic fighting moves.Now after a year I am afraid that they taught my boys too much,because whenever someone starts to make fun of them, my boys immediately get in their face and challenge them.I am not exxagerating when I say they've been in over 10 fights this school year.While Rick tells them to never fight unless necessary,I can tell he's proud they stand tall now.How can I stop the fighting but keep their confidence up?

[Eulalia]

I do not think that you should have to worry about a thing. Try to inquire if your husband also can teach the boys the difference between force and excessive force when they fight. I actually think that this is a terrific thing. I put my boy through Taek-Won-Do and Karate to learn how to fight. I am sick of these laws that allow "no violence", yet when it comes to bullying and verbal abuse nothing gets done.
As far as your boys' speech problem goes, they are 12. Try to get them on a supplement that contains all 8 sugars that heal, and I guarantee you that it will get a lot better with their stutter. Sometimes the solution is so simple that the medical experts don't even see it. I've seen too many people taking that stuff and get amazing results....good luck

[yvonne]

I'm sort of in the same boat. My younger son,9, is constantly being bullied by my very much stronger and older son who's almost 11. My husband thought that Taekwondo is the answer. We actually all go together twice a week. But now my sons really know how to punch and put some power behind it and so their own personal fights have gotten worse and like yours, they get into fights with just about everyone they meet. At least the karate teacher often speaks about being humble and how to react when someone tries to pick a fight with them, but...
I'll be keeping an eye on this question.
All the best to you.

[munkeroos]

Definately get them into an actual class, whether it be boxing, wrestling, martial arts.

The teacher will be very, very adamant about not fighting outside of class. And if he is informed of them fighting outside of class, and at school - he may set them straight/deny them new lessons, etc.

It might just take someone respectable and 'cool' (they're 12, you two wont be cool again for about 8 more years, LOL) to them, to make them realise it's not the answer.

[chato]

Just let them fight some day, onekid bigger and stronger is gonan teach them a lesson and only then they will learn to choose their oponents.

Kudos to your hubby for turning them in ALPHA MALES, this confidence is going to help them all their lives.

I was in about 300 fights when I was in High School, my mom really worried about me since I only weighted 126 lbs and my oponents usually came in pairs. But one day I met my match heknocke with one punch and I learned I was not invincible and it maade really think about things

[Keeper]

He needs to teach them how to defend themselves for sure, but he needs to get back with them and teach them how to get along, not be so agressive and understand that there will always be someone able to beat the living snot out of them no matter how good they will ever get.
Sometimes that may have to happen before they learn that leasson he should of taught them already.

[trackfighterp4p]

my father did the same thing to me. my mother worried just like you. i am sad to say that your sons are going to have to be humbled in some way. either your husband needs to tell them not to do this outside (it has to come from their teacher.) if that doesn't work then you must come to the sad realization that they have to loose a fight. my father got sick of me being cocky so he had to get some guy to bust my a** in front of all my friends. after i licked my wounds he sat me down and said that i should be proud of what i know but i cannot abuse it. it sounds corny i know but the spider-man mmovie was right "with great power comes great responsibility." if they just completely ignore that then they can get arrested for assault and esp. if they know boxing they can go to jail for knowing a deadly art according to the law.

[Greasy Tony]

Like I tell my nephews, "Stand up for yourself, but never pick a fight, and if someone hits you, pick the spot your going to drop them".

[Shawn C]

Everyone has their line to cross when it is time to drop the gloves. Given that your boys have the stuttering issue that makes it even more difficult.

This new found power they have feels good, it makes those around them feel the same way they do when teased. Bullies are usually bullied themselves so the just follows suit.

Get them into some counselling and or a proper Self-Defense class. A place that will not only teach them how to defend themselves but also the self respect/disipline and confidence.

[Pamela C]

Punish them.. standing up for yourself is awesome at their age.. tell them to remember what it felt like to be bullied and not to be the bullies now.
My son was getting picked on in school last year. .boys were saying stuff and pushing him and no one did anything. I called the school and reported their names.. I asked the principal "what happens if or when there is a fight" he said "The police are called, everyone is questioned and everyone gets the same punishment, because it is usually a he said/she said type deal" I was astounded.. so basically the bullies could threaten my son and push him and not get into any trouble, but if he hits back , he gets in trouble. .that zero tolerance policy gone too far once again.
So I told my son.. Kick their Ass*s.. if they swing, go bolistic and kick their as*! I am a good christian woman, but I had to make a choice.
Your boys need to stop being the bully.. take important things from them, video games, internet time.. outside. etc.. Dr. Phil always says that everyone has a price.. use that to set up there boundaries on acceptable and unacceptable behaviors.
Good Luck.