All the things my mother taught me, should i pass them on?? LOL!!?

[lolly lou]

All the things my mother taught me:

My mom taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE -
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside - I just finished cleaning!"

My mother taught me RELIGION -
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL:
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

My mother taught me LOGIC:
"Because I said so, that's why."

My mother taught me FORESIGHT -
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

My mother taught me IRONY -
"Keep laughing and I'll *give* you something to cry out."

My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS -
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper!"

My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM -
"Will you *look* at the dirt on the back of your neck!"

My mother taught me about STAMINA -
"You'll sit there 'til all that spinach is finished."

My mother taught me about WEATHER -
"It looks as if a tornado swept through your room."

My mother taught me how to solve PHYSICS PROBLEMS -
"If I yelled because I saw a meteor coming toward you; would you listen then?"

My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY -
"If I've told you once, I've told you a million times - don't exaggerate!!!"

My mother taught me THE CIRCLE OF LIFE -
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION -
Stop acting like your father!"

My mother taught me about ENVY -
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do

[#2 coming July 18th]

lol....i have to agree with catherine b

[virginia_beach_bum_23451]

hahaha, i know what you mean... ive heard every bit of that before. the funny thing is that, as stupid as i thought she sounded, i do find myself saying some of the same things to my kids.

[Tanya G]

that was cute LOL

[Debbie V]

Hysterical!!

[catherine b]

i never really appreciated all the things my mother said till i heard them come out of my mouth...
and i think she got her wish-
i grew up and had kids just like me