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You can't teach either. They just figure out what they are. What you can do let her know that you will love and support her whether she is gay or straight. When my kids asked what gay was this is how I explained it: usually a boy and a girl fall in love. Sometimes a boy and a boy or a girl and a girl fall in love. That's called being gay. Make your explaination non-judgemental. If they are gay, they will know whether you approve or not by the attitudes they grow up with.
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Homosexuality isn't a learned behavior. Most of the time those who have homosexual desires have them inherently. We plan on teaching our kids that homosexual behavior is wrong, even if those tendencies are inherent.
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