Teaching Patience in toddlers?

[pobbleblonk]

I have an almost 4 year old boy who gets sooo frustrated with anything. Instead of asking for help he just makes noises and chucks a little tanty. I keep telling him to ask for help but he doesn't. What am I doing wrong, or how can I teach him to have a little patience and mummy will teach him?

[The Organic Sister]

You can't really teach patience. He is young and it is one of those things kids just learn on their own. And some never do get good at it. But there is nothing you can do to force him to "get it". But if you do try to force it, you could make it worse...or worse, hurt your relationship with him.

When my son was that age (and even sometimes as he got older) I would *sympathize* with his frustration. Sometimes just knowing someone understands us, helps diffuse our anger. He may not always ask for help but if you are close by, you could go to him, get eye to eye and ask him if he'd like your help. If my son was really stuggling, a hug would always help him calm down.

Also try to watch when it happens; a certain time of day, before or after a meal, after certain foods, etc. He could be tired, hungry or negatively affected by certain foods.

Also if he tends to get frustrated over the same things, you could foresee the problem and offer him help or help him solve it before it happens...such as when he goes to get his toys "Hey those Legos pieces you are getting down are usualy hard to pull apart; let me know if you need help" ...or help him solve it before it happens such as "Your shirt buttons can be difficult can't they? What if we buttoned them first and then put your shirt on over your head?"

But really the best way for him to learn patience is for you to be patient and understanding with him. With age comes maturity. At 4 years old, he can't fully understand things past the here and now. With your love and some time, he will.