How do I teach my son the right way?

[paulgw3]

I am a 30 yearold man and single parent of a 20 month old little boy and a 7 month old little girl. My son is a very tough, hardheaded little boy. He will fall and hit his head or mouth and just laugh as his lips starts bleeding, or his head lumps up and then gets up and starts running around again like nothing happened. These days he has started hitting me and hitting his little sister. He is a great kid and is soo helpful at times but he is really agressive and loves to rough house. Sometimes he will throw things at his sisters face or smack her, shake his head and say no no no. I have used timeouts and sit with him for 2 minutes which he does very well with however it doesnt seem to change his behaviors. He knows what he is doing and being so I have resulted to flicking him on the fingers or hand when he smacks or hits or throws things. This seems to work a little but I HATE DOING IT... The look on his face kills me inside. What can I do to work with him?
""Make it a bigger deal to be good instead of bad. Say to your daughter but really to him "Look how good Sister (name) is, she doesn't hit." And give her a BIG, big hug. And then give him an appropriate behavior to replace the old one. "When Sister is mad, she tells me she is MAD! But she doesn't hit." THen have your daughter play it out. "I'm mad". And you say, "That's ok. We;ll work it out." ANd another BIG HUG.
""".........I have done this / do this .. It doesnt work with him but i still try.. He laughs when he falls cause for some reason he thinks its funny. He will cry if it scares him but the pain doesnt faze him. Sometimes he'll run over for a kiss, and then immediatly he's back to what he's doing unless I grab him up with hug and even then he just wants to go back to playing. He doesnt really like hugs unless he wants them, same with kisses.
(By the way, if you are hitting him, he will hit you to retaliate.) """" This is what I fear and why I dont spank... He could care less about stickers when I give them to him. He just looks at me like "whats this crap".. and throws it down or puts it in the garbage with everything else he thinks is "yucky" . He doesnt even really like toys much. He'll play with balls, but if it's not round, he only wants what I use such as my cell, or TV remotes, or pens / crayons.. He likes to clean house, take out his toys just to put them back.. lol