I'm having issues with my ex-gf stalking me. Police are involved. I need to

[April M]

catch her in the act. Advice?? I got a restraining order last year. Since then, she kept "doing little things" to NOT get caught until finally she got the nerve up to ask my cousin's wife to contact me to give me a message. Since my cousin lives out of state, I got her statement by phone recording with her permission. We went to court, but judge politely and regretfully told me that I would need the witness there in person. The stalking is scaring me to the point I'm afriad this person willl do something stupid eventually if she keeps getting away with her games she's playing because she thinks she's invincible. I'm afraid once she realizes I'm not coming back to her that she "will snap". She's made threats before by saying she's afraid of what she'll do to me and that she hears voices in her head telling her to hurt me. Either she's saying this to scare me to "control" me or she really means it. Either way, I need to CATCH HER AT HER OWN GAME for all this to stop. Any advice???

[Jessica M]

what a nutcase.

[Martha Evans]

That sounds creepy.
It might be worth it to talk to a lawyer. Every state has different laws. Maybe the restraining order could be modified to include the little things that she does that "walk the fine line". Maybe you could screen all your calls and also, get your phone number changed. In the worst case, you might consider moving to a different house or apartment, or get a different car, so that she doesn't look for it to mess up or follow you, etc.
If I were you and it kept on, I would see a lawyer. Some will give a $75.00 initial consultation, and other's will offer a free one. Each lawyer has their own policy.

Also, if you call the police with a question, sometimes they can give you some advice about how to prevent her from doing anything. I would carry a cell phone and camera at all times. Be prepared.

[bubblies]

If she lives in the state you could try and catching her on film with like your cell phone or a mini recorder.

[tia.lily]

Stalkers are dangerous. This is not a Game. Stop trying to catch her in the act. Report her for telephone harassment. Move if you can and get a P.O. Box. Do not receive any mail at your home address. Use your P.O. Box on your license. You seem very naive. This is not flattery for you. You are in danger and you should see a therapist immediately.

[clcalifornia]

scasry!!

From what I have learned in life is to document everything. If she leaves phone messeges keep them! Make sure there is a date on them.

A year is a very long time!!
She sounds like she needs some mental intervention, but that isn't your job.

Sometimes knowing that you react makes people like that react more. I am not sure how you could just not react and she will get bored and move on. Also, you need to make yourself safe!!

You need to find out what the courts need to have to make it so she is legally in trouble. You don't want to waste time doing things that will just make you have to start over again.

Change your appearence maybe???? Drive another car???? Move??? Take a long vacation???

You can buy recorders that start when it hears a noise. Keep it where she often goes.Like your porch or whatever.

Don't try to catch her at her own game that could be dangerous. I hopefully stop her. People like her change their reality to fit their life. She is definatly in need of mental evaluation!

She has a warped reality of what is going on.

I have tried to deal with a person like this and it is nearly impossible. I need to just think ahead of what I do. I wish I had the answer.

Have your speed dial on 911

I wish you well

[Fedup]

Contact the police EVERY time that she tries to contact you. Ask them what else you can legally do to protect yourself. You may want to contact a lawyer also, they can give you guidance.

Is there any way that the person could be there in person? If not, you could get a notarized letter from the person to your lawyer which WOULD be entered as evidence. Have the person FAX a copy directly to your lawyer from the notary place, so there is not any way that you could have tampered with it.