Creative thinkers needed for Theater project ideas?

[Kakie]

In my theater class I need to make a commericial, so me and my group came up with the idea of doing a drug commercial with totally ridiculous side-effects (ex. "A sudden fetish for butterflies", "phobia of undergarments", etc..)

Anyway, we want to spoof that really fast talking at the end of drug commericial (where they say the really serious side effects really really quickly while you see happy smiling people).

But the problem is we're not that creative thinkers and we want to include things that are funny and not kinda stupid...so if you could give me some ideas for really crazy side-effects it would be so great!! 10 points to most hilarious idea!!

PS: this has to be in good taste, it's a highschool course and we don't want anything extremly sexual or that shows a certain group of people in a negative light!!

[Brian H]

few general ideals...

1. the police are everywhere cant you here the sirens.
2. Theirs antelope in the front lawn.. Of-course thier arnt any really...
3. She has become the best and fastest house cleaner ever in history..!! after using that certain drug...
4. I got in a fight with the microwave after it said nasty things to me..
5. He seems to have the ability to put to girls on his back and carry them at the same time up a rope climb and down.. even though he only ways 120 pounds...
6. Hes turned green... Everyone else knows it .. but him...
7. Hes got another two barrels of pesticides in the back of his fathers pickup truck, that he stole from the local farmer.. this is the 14 barrow this week.. He says thier to be used to prod up a giant telescope for his uncles star party.. However, we all know hes stolen the barrows to make meth... Hes in denial
8. hes writing backwards again.. The whole essay....
9. Hes reading what he wrote backwards, faster then he can read it when its written correctly...
10.. Hes petting his other arm... the third one he thinks exists but of-course, it doesn't...
11. He believes he is 10 feet tall and bullet proof and nothing can stop him...
12. He thinks the whole world is out to get him while he is surrounded by a bunch of nuns
13. those nuns begin to talk to him in spanish.. he answers then eloquently-.. And this is fine.. They all laugh.. Then he realized.. he doesn't know any spanish...

[DramaGuy]

senses move from one organ to another. Hearing from the nose, smelling from the fingers, seeing from the ears, etc.

change of ethnic history (accents)

sensitivity to a specific color or shape

over emotional over small talk

extreme conservatism (yea, Haliburtan)

two left feet

belief that up is down

need to hold breath

walking backwards